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"Whad Ya Say?" Writing Dialogue

  • Mar. 31st, 2009 at 6:18 AM
Saturn Ring Blues
For the last couple of class meetings in my evening creative writing class, we've been discussing dialogue.  I used to be terrible at it.  Everything my characters said sounded wooden and inhuman.  I hated getting to dialogue sections because I knew I was going to embarrass myself.

Here's what I've learned that has helped me out:

A.        Dialogue, like details, should be significant.

B.        Dialogue can show action, emotion, advance the plot, provide exposition, set the scene, characterize, set the mood, reveal the theme, foreshadow or remind.

C.        Include only the dialogue that, no matter what else it does, advances the story in some way.

D.        "The trick to writing good dialogue is hearing voice. The question is, what would he or she say? The answer is entirely in language. The choice of language reveals content, character, and conflict, as well as type."

E.         Dialogue is characters saying "no" to oneanother.

F.         Elliptic speech is often a part of dialogue (fragments).

G.        Characters will sometimes finish each other's sentences.

H.        Use speech mannerisms: fragments, slang, interruptions, changes of direction, and indirect replies.

I.          Use contractions.

J.          Capture the rhythm of real speech without real speech's hums and haws.

K.        Give each character distinct speech mannerisms. A character should be identifiable by how he or she speaks.

L.         Eliminate needless "hello/goodbye" exchanges or meaningless chit-chat.

M.        Don't make characters say things to each other that they already know for the benefit of the audience.

N.        Avoid tags that are unneeded. Include a speech tag only if the speaker is unclear.

O.        Avoid unspeakable tags.

P.         Watch out for uninterrupted dialogue that fails to reveal emotions or reactions.

Q.        Pace dialogue by interrupting with action, thoughts or description.

R.        Try your dialogue out loud.


An article that set me on the road to writing better dialogues was Gregory McDonald's "On Dialogue" in the Mystery Writer's Handbook.  As I understand it, he was asked to contribute a chapter on dialogue since he is renowned for writing it, but he struggled trying to put together an essay.  Finally he chucked his unsatisfying article and rewrote the chapter as a dialogue.  I thought that article alone was worth the price of the book. 

One of the key lessons for me was that when characters speak, they are both talking about whatever the subject is and existing in the real world, so you might get a conversation like this between two people driving somewhere:

"What makes you think God doesn't exist?  Turn right here."

"Here?  That's Aspen Street.  Less traffic on Lincoln Avenue.  I don't see any evidence for God.  They did a study about prayer in hospitals that showed people who prayed didn't get better faster or die at a different rate than people who didn't pray."

"They're doing shoulder work on Lincoln.  It's one lane from here to the mall.  Did you read that C.S. Lewis book I gave you, The Problem Of Pain?  He talks about suffering and God in a pretty convincing way.  You missed the turn."

"You said Lincoln wasn't any good.  We can take the detour.  You know, Tolkien didn't like Lewis in the end.  He thought Lewis was a Johnny-come-lately to religion, and then made a bunch of money on it."

"That doesn't mean God doesn't exist."

"Great, a traffic jam.  Do you think if there was a God that traffic would always be this bad?  A just God would give me more green lights."

"Maybe God wants us to talk more so he slowed us down."

"I don't like the idea of a God who would manipulate everyone's schedule so you can try to convince me that he is real.  It sounds like micromanagement.  How about we park the car and get some coffee?"

"I know where there's a Starbucks.  Turn right here." 
 

Just a reminder, I have put the links to all of my writing-related blogs here.  I built the links page because LJ doesn't have a decent search function within the blog, so even using tags I couldn't easily find entries that I remembered writing.

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]eeknight wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 12:53 pm (UTC)
Good stuff. Linking, if you don't mind.
[info]jimvanpelt wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:02 pm (UTC)
You are more than welcome. I'll bet you have a lot of thoughts of your own about dialogue too.
[info]eeknight wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 02:26 pm (UTC)
That's a pretty good list. The only thing I'd add to it is that about 98% of the time, "said" works perfectly fine. To the reading brain, it's a near invisible word that by its insignificance lets what's being said shine more clearly.

But if I'm getting sick of typing "saids" I like to do body-language tags that reinforce the dialogue, thus:

Jack took a sudden interest in the the clock. "Oh, I dunno. Typical day. Knocked around. . . you know. Hey, isn't Dancing With The Has-Beens starting?"


or


"Oh, no, go ahead. Please. I ate already." Anne's stomach growled, disagreeing.


You get the idea.
[info]psamphire wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:35 pm (UTC)
Very good stuff. I really like the example you give.

One of the things I remember learning back when all the dialogue I wrote was clunky and stilted was that real people don't talk in a straightforward way. For example, they change the subject, fail to answer questions, answer one question with another, and follow their own lines of thought, which may not necessarily follow on from what the other person was saying.

That can give you a really good tool to reveal character, for example when one character comes out with what seems to be a left-field comment but which in reality is something they've been thinking or obsessing about for a while.
[info]dakegra wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)
excellent article.

I have a question though - what do you mean by 'unspeakable tags'?
[info]jimvanpelt wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:49 pm (UTC)
The invisible and eminently usable tag is "said." You can put "he said" twenty times on a page and no one will notice, but some writers get caught up in never repeating a word, including the dialogue tags, so they end up getting cute with the tags, saying things like, "'We are going to the store,' she smiled,'" or "'Of course, I despise you,' he spat.'" "Smiled" and "spat" are unspeakable tags.

I read a romance novel once that had a spectacular two pages of dialogue that never repeated a single tag. After a while, it became funny to read as the author reached farther and farther for synonyms of "said."

Also, words change meanings. I love reading Wuthering Heights out loud with such gems of dialogue tags like, "'You own no part of Thrushcross Grange,' Heathcliff ejaculated."
[info]dakegra wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:50 pm (UTC)
ah, gotcha. Cheers!
[info]klingonguy wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:50 pm (UTC)
Current Music: "Harvest," Neil Young

Why am I not surprised?
[info]jimvanpelt wrote:
Mar. 31st, 2009 01:52 pm (UTC)
Actually, Pandora served it up as I was finishing the post. Pure coincidence.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )