Mad Magazine used to do a section of the magazine they called, "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions." My favorite showed a guy face down in bed, clearly in the midst of a long nap. Someone is peeking in his bedroom door, though, and says, "Are you asleep?"
I used to hate this question. My mom always asked it. It was closely related to her other favorite, "Are you reading?" when I had my nose buried in a book.
The character in the bed has an answer for the question that I never had the nerve to use: "No, I'm dead. Leave the flowers and get out."
Sometimes I hear comments about teachers that bring to mind the "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions," except these would be more in the line of "Snappy Answers to Stupid Comments."
You can see a list of them at "7 Crazy Things People Say to Teachers (and How to Respond).
I liked the response to "Johnny never acts up at home. I wonder what's going on in your classroom to make that happen." The reply is “That is strange that Johnny has such different behavior in the classroom. Let’s figure out a way to get to the bottom of this. You’re welcome to observe my teaching any time you want. When can I come to your house?”
Of course, if I want an instant pick up, I rewatch Taylor Mali's "What a Teacher Makes."
I find it soul-soothing.
- Current Mood: chipper