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Teacher Snarks: the Highlights

I ran into a quote that I shared with the rest of the English teachers today.  It falls into the category of "things we think but would never say to a student or parent":"

“I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.” ~English Professor (Name Unknown), Ohio University

Another teacher sent this one in return:

"Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."  ~Author Unknown, commonly misattributed to Samuel Johnson.

And that set off a storm of similarly-themed comments:

"Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"I would not allow this student to breed."

"Your child has delusions of adequacy."

"Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

"This child has been working with glue too much."

"When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell."

"The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."


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( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
roseaponi
Oct. 4th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
Glad I had set my coffee down first... I'd be asking you to replace an iPad now otherwise...
gardenwaltz
Oct. 4th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)
My dad, a high-school teacher for 25 years, had a mug that said, "The problem with your son, Mrs. Smith, is that he's stupid." Simple, to the point, and can never ever be said to a parent.
brownkitty
Oct. 4th, 2011 09:29 pm (UTC)
Not quite the same thing, but one of the things I can never let another parent hear me saying to my children is, "I love you to death, and some days it's more tempting than others.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )